Help Your Children Deal With Their Feelings

By Dr Renita D’Souza

Behavior is the outcome of emotions and feelings in a child. All feelings of the child need to be accepted and respected but certain actions must be limited. Example “I can see how angry you are at your brother. Tell him with words, not by breaking things”.

How to accept and respect child’s feelings?

Listen calmly and attentively to what child has to say. It will be easy and comfortable for children to express their troubles to someone who is listening. You need not say anything, all what a child needs is the sympathetic silence. Children may not know to express their feelings, so we can give name to their feelings.

Like, “So you are hurt, for your best friend did not come to your birthday party.” Sometimes just recognizing their feelings with simple words like “Oh…..mmm” or “I see” can help children explore their own thoughts and feelings. It can also be possible that they come with their own solutions.
Read – Benefits Of Listening Skills In Ayurveda

How to free your kid from playing roles?

Sometimes children behave like the old labels given to them or they play different roles which are unacceptable.
For example, when they are scolded as incapable, or you are not good in studies or you are dull, they take such labels seriously and automatically start behaving like they are incapable and dull.

In this case, give child a different task to complete and, in this way, you put your child in a situation where they can see themselves differently.
Example, “Tom can you draw a picture of a mountain?” This way, you will be highlighting the drawing capacity of the child. This makes the child to believe in himself.

Rather than name calling or labelling the child as “good-for-nothing” or “dull”, explain the desired behavior to child that you would like to see.
Choose a reward that your child would enjoy and explain it to them.
Giving good rewards is one way to encourage good behavior.
Read – 5 Tips To Discipline Your Child Without Tears

What to do when children want something they can’t have?

Most of the time it is not possible to give what the child demands. Child protests harder when her demand is rejected. Harder we explain why they can’t have it, the harder she protest. Instead of rejecting let’s try something new, which will make the child easier to bear reality. Fulfil the wish of a child in fantasy when it is not possible to have in real.

It is easier to accept the reality when just having someone to understand how much you want something.  Example,” I wish I could make this blue dress change into pink for you right now!”

Another example – If the child is asking for ice cream, despite having cold and cough, use the sentence like “I wish I could change this soup into ice cream”.
Read – How To Improve Immune System In Children? An Ayurvedic Method

How to praise your Child?

Praising children in right way will help child build self-esteem and boost self-confidence. Appreciating efforts of children can help develop growing mindset in them. They do not fear failure and see every challenge of life as a new experience and an opportunity for self-development. When the child is nearby, praise the child’s ability with other family member. Let child overhear something positive about them. This will really boots the child’s confidence. Be a storehouse of positive energy for your child and make your child believe that she can become anything that she wants and works hard for.
Click to Consult Dr Renita D’Souza